18 January 2018
Thursday of the Second Week in Ordinary Time
Envy, being one of the seven deadly sins, can be a reliable indicator that we seek our own will, rather than God’s. After David slays Goliath, the women sing, “Saul has slain his thousands and David his ten thousands,” and Saul thinks, “They give David ten thousands, but only thousands to me” (1 Samuel 18-19). Saul is jealous, angry, and fearful, because his attachment is to his own glory rather than the glory of God. Had Saul truly desired what was for God’s greater glory, then he would rejoice at the victory that God had accomplished through David and would have considered it only fitting that David would be celebrated more than Saul himself. Perhaps Saul would even have humbly recognized that God himself desired for David to be king, and might have willingly and obediently deferred to God’s desire. But that God should desire such a thing is what Saul most fears, and so, since God does desire this, Saul makes himself an enemy of God.
Perhaps we may think that we are more restrained that Saul in our jealousy, for who among us would contemplate killing someone out of envy or rage? And yet, Jesus does not allow us such comfort, for he warns that even those who bear such sentiments in their hearts do great evil (Matthew 5); John goes so far as to say that anyone who hates his brother is a murderer (1 John 3:15). If we feel envy for others, let us ask ourselves in what way we have chosen love of self over love of God, and even ask what false gods we have been worshiping and what illusory lives we have been chasing through this love of self. Then, let us surrender this false and sacrilegious worship and offer ourselves to the true worship that Jesus Christ reveals, wherein the good things that God bestows on our neighbor are no longer cause for envy, but rather for rejoicing, for they show that our loving God is faithful and does marvelous things. If we learn, by God’s grace, to rejoice in our neighbor’s blessings, perhaps we will come to discover our own.