25 January 2018
Feast of the Conversion of Saint Paul, Apostle
Saint Ignatius Loyola, in his Spiritual Exercises, lists three times when a correct and good choice of a way of life may be made. The first time, he says, is “when God our Lord so moves and attracts the will that a devout soul without hesitation, or the possibility of hesitation, follows what has been manifested to it. St. Paul and St. Matthew acted thus in following Christ our Lord.”
In the case of St. Paul, whose conversion the Church celebrates today, there was no hesitation or possibility of hesitation, according to Saint Ignatius. Well, why not? He saw a bright light, and he heard the voice of Jesus talking to him. His companions saw the light, but they did not hear the voice. The light was so bright that St. Paul went blind temporarily, but his companions, who saw the light, did not go blind. It seems that St. Paul was more sensitive to the light, which is why only he went blind.
I argue that the reason that there was, for St. Paul, neither hesitation nor the possibility of hesitation was that he had developed a sensitivity to God’s light. In other words, he had been a devout man, even as a Jew, prior to his conversion to Christianity. The lesson for us is that if we wish to be led by God with as much clarity as St. Paul was, then we must cultivate our devotion to God with as much zeal as Paul had, even if our devotions may be flawed, as were St. Paul’s prior to his conversion.