In the Old Law, homicide was forbidden. Jesus raised the bar. Hatred leads to homicide and so hatred too is forbidden. Where is the principle force to be found that enables us to love, not hate? It is in the Eucharist.
Prayer is essential. Essentially prayer before the Eucharist is where we allow the risen Christ, transformed, to transform our needs into love, without denying they are still needs to be fulfilled. To participate in the Eucharist, to attend mass, establishes an intimacy with Him who is Love, enabling us to love what we might naturally hate.
Normally none of this is done immediately. To suffer while such a transformation takes place is normal. “Patience” is the word that cams from the Latin “to suffer”. In the first reading, Elijah gives an example of patience in prayer.
The rain here is the sign of God’s pardon for the people who had turned against him. But Elijah had to spend a longtime in deep prayer before God rained down his grace. So it is sometimes with us.
Merely to desire that one’s “righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees” is not enough. It can take time. Prayer and patience. Patience with prayer.