Our readings today present two contrasting perspectives of the mercy of God which we can take as an insightful lesson for how we can show mercy both to others and especially to ourselves.
First, we are presented with the thirty-second chapter of the second book of the Bible, Exodus, and Moses is privileged to have an intimate, face-to-face conversation with “The Lord”. The mentality of the “Lord” that is presented in this account is a wrathful, jealous, and vengeful “Lord”. It is Moses who must cool him down and urge him not to destroy the people of Israel. Before we too readily dismiss this story as the Old Testament and not the type of god that I believe in, may I suggest that this is precisely the type of attitude we expect God to have in the parables that Jesus offers to the Pharisees and scribes who challenge Jesus for eating with tax collectors and sinners? What should the shepherd do when one of his ninety-nine sheep wonders off? He should let it go. He should, accounting to the common sense of the world in which we live in, let that dumb lamb learn a hard lesson. If it can survive the night against the wolves and coyotes and if it can find its way back to the safety of the rest of the flock, then, he can take it in. Otherwise, its dead meat. The woman too, loses a worthless coin. Common sense says let it go. Maybe it will show up, but certainly do not make a big deal over it. And, of course the father of the two sons should definitely make his younger son learn a lesson of humility for wasting the family inheritance. That useless and foolish boy deserves to be punished and must learn the value of a hard-earned dollar. The God of the Old Testament in Exodus is the discipline we expect when a foolish and clearly avoidable mistake is made.
Moreover, when we ourselves make mistakes, what kind of attitude do we take to ourselves. How often are we our own worst critic? How often do we tear ourselves apart or deprive ourselves of any pleasures because of some seemingly foolish act that we did? Sometimes in confession I ask the penitent to name their own penance. They come up with a severe penance of strict fasting, multiple full rosaries, or humiliating challenges. How often we are our own worst critic. We become this wrathful, jealous, and vengeful “Lord” as presented in the Old Testament.
The root of such critical mentalities is that we have the audacity to think that because we have messed up, made a mistake, foolishly wandered off the right path, or committed some error, that for justice to be served, a payment or punishment is required. The sense of justice in this world is one of tit for tat, a recompense is owed, there must be restitution. And yet, Jesus flips our perspective all together when he draws us into the love of the Father. The foolish lost sheep, the mistaken lost coin, the wayward second son, they all matter, they all are worth sacrificing for, they all must be restored regardless of the cost. The love of our God which Jesus is inviting us into is unconditional, boundlessly merciful.
What is important though on our part, fellow sinners and fellow tax-collectors, is the virtue of humility and the recognition and naming or confessing of the faults. Our second reading from Paul’s first letter to Timothy powerfully depicts how we are to honestly recognize our weakness and needs for God’s mercy. Paul states bluntly, honestly, and humbly that he is a blasphemer, a persecutor, arrogant, ignorant, and the foremost sinner. The wayward foolish son, upon returning, made it very clear, that he had sinned against heaven and against his father and that he no longer deserves to be called a son anymore. Even Moses did not deny that the people of Israel were stiff-necked and depraved. Authentic humility has nothing to do with self-deprecation or self-belittlement, but about honesty, the truth about our state as sinners, as lost, as wayward, and yet as in need of the unconditional and boundless mercy of God. In this honest humility, Paul states, “for this reason I was mercifully treated….Christ has strengthened me… Christ considers me trustworthy.”
So, maybe coin-finding parties or lamb-finding parties or child-finding parties may seem absurd to our common-sense and worldly perspective. However, it is what we do every week when we come to mass. We come, as sinners and broken from a week of challenging relationships, times of going astray, and maybe we may seem lost and foolish. We begin mass with the Penitential right, honestly naming and confessing out sinfulness, not out of self-deprecation, but out of honesty, stating our rightful place as sinners. It is right for us to say that we have sinned against heaven and against our Father and that we no longer deserve to be called a child of God. And yet, we find that we are unjustly flooded by mercy as we sing the Gloria and move to the great feast of the lamb sacrificed for our salvation. So, let us learn a lesson of humility, not that we are broken sinners deserving punishment but that we are sinners who are flooded with God’s unconditional mercy and drawn into the great heavenly liturgical feast of a people who were lost and have been found, who were dead and have been brought to life. Let us get to the great child-of-God finding party!