In the First Reading today, Moses tells the people of Israel: “I have set before you life and death, the blessing and the curse” (Deuteronomy 30:19). He invites the people to choose their path in life. He illustrates how one can choose death by acting selfishly and choose life by following God’s laws. And Moses tells them, “Choose life, then” (Deuteronomy 30:19). However, in the accompanying Gospel, it seems that Jesus is actually telling us the opposite. It sounds like he is telling us to choose death. He says, “If anyone wishes to come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:23-24). We have a paradox: by choosing death on the surface, we gain life.
It may seem paradoxical, but it makes more sense upon further reflection. In The Spiritual Exercises, St. Ignatius talks about the Three Kinds of People: the delayer, the negotiator, and the liberated person. The delayer likes Christianity but feels that there are more important things to attend to, and so delays “taking up the cross.” The negotiator says, “I’ll follow you, God, only if I can go where I want to go.” When I first entered the Jesuits, I certainly had this attitude, thinking that I would only become a Jesuit and follow God in this way if I could go to exciting places where I’ve always wanted to go (it didn’t happen, and I’m happier for it). In these first two instances, we can continue succumbing to our own agendas that inhibit our growth and happiness even though we are ostensibly free. However, this third type of person is truly free from want and gives themselves to God, allowing God to lead them on an adventure. Being free means entering into sacrifice. These sacrifices or limits free us to follow God more closely and bring us life. What type of person am I?