Jesus told a parable that contrasted the prayer of the proud pharisee with the prayer of the humble tax collector. The pharisee assumed a place of pre-eminence from which he thanked God that he was so superior to others, while the tax collector, keeping out of the limelight, asked God for mercy. The latter went home justified, not the former.
Our goal must be to imitate that tax collector. At the start of mass, for example, there is a ritual where we ask God for mercy: Kyrie, eleison, Lord, have mercy. Are we sincerely asking God for mercy, at that point, or are we simply going through the motions? It is not enough to ask for God’s mercy towards our neighbor. That’s the point of Jesus’ parable today. If we sincerely believe that it’s really other people who need God’s mercy while we ourselves are just fine, then we are thinking like that pharisee. To think like that tax collector whom Jesus praised we must pray with him from our hearts: “O God, be merciful to me a sinner.”
Gaining a sincere awareness of personal sinfulness takes work. St. Ignatius Loyola was a master of precisely that discipline, proposing the following: examine your conscience frequently, daily or more often, recalling your thoughts, your words and your deeds, judging them in the light of the ten commandments, the precepts of the Church, and the legitimate regulations of your religious superiors, such as your pastor and your bishop. St. Ignatius also encourages regular confession, moderate penance, and self-denial. You can do all that without going away on retreat somewhere. You can do that in your daily routines of life. May you truly seek God’s mercy, and may you truly find it.